Finding Inner Peace After a Toxic Relationship or Friendship.

Inner peace is very important in one’s life, but how many of us have that? I personally didn't know what inner peace was, and I didn't find inner peace until early 2017.

The year 2016 was by far the roughest year of my life to date! Friendship's fell apart, my relationship was at a breaking point, I was very angry with myself for accepting less than I deserved. I knew my worth and what I brought to the table, but I still choose to settle for less than what I deserved. I was angry for committing years of my life into relationships that were built on lies and extreme toxicity. Weak men are intimidated by strong and independent women, not because of our appearance but their inability to break us emotionally and mentally. Women, we must not forget that any man who tries to break us emotionally and mentally is not worthy of us.

Also, there were a few Jamaican co-workers I considered my friends. Making new friends as an immigrant can be quite tricky because people keep their circle tight. So I thought, how cool it is to work in the same environment with people from the same culture and be friends too. Guess what, it was a bad idea. Sharing the same cultural heritage or common interest doesn't necessarily mean you have to be in their circle. Yes! it would be cool to hang out with people from the same culture or race, but sometimes It just doesn’t work that way.

Initially it was all fun until I realized they didn't truly accept me as their friend. I tried hard to fit in, but no matter how hard I tried it was never enough. Either I was a little too quiet at times, a little too soft spoken, it was always something wrong with my personality. I soon realized I could not change my personality to fit in, so I walked away from the toxic friendship. Sometimes the people we call friends are the same ones who subtly envy us, not necessarily for material things but the attention and affection we receive from other people.

It wasn't until I stepped away from the toxic relationship and friendships that I was able to find inner peace. I started to reflect on my life, I spent time alone by doing things I loved, like enjoying nature and running in the park. I also started reading motivational books and begun eating healthy. I started to put myself first, I felt at peace and belonged in my own space. Guess what, my hair even started growing back and my skin was glowing.

Moral of my story is don't stay in friendships or relationships where you don't feel welcomed, just for the fear of isolation. Friendships should be organic and not forced. You will always be too soft for somebody, too laid back, too quiet, too pretty, too ugly, too loud or not loud enough! Walk away from people who make you feel like a stranger. When the time is right organic relationships and friendships will be formed, until then choose inner peace over fake phony friendships. Until next time, xoxo.